Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
