I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I think I died a long time ago.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
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She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
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if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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