he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
