i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
