Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I need mimosas to revive my soul
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
