Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
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