Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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