pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
