in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
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