carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
