And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
