Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
sex in a hospital.. check
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
