Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
Randomize