I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
