she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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