Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
