Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
