i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Randomize
