he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
