He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
