Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
