Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
