Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
