My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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