i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
