I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
