dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
