just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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