Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize