So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
