I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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