dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
