How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
