I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
