My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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