sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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