I am spending my child support on dildos
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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