her vagine was all disorganized.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
