doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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