Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize