Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
