those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
