Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Randomize
