We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
