i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
