when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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