I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Randomize
