i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
