If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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