she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
