I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
