look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
