Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
