Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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