suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
