This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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