he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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