for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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